When a father experiences the unimaginable loss of a child, most of the focus turns to the mother’s grief. While this support is vital, a father’s pain is often unintentionally overlooked or misunderstood. As a result, many men struggle with their grief in silence and are forced to cope with feelings of isolation and loss without the same level of attention or support. 

This is why spaces like Men’s Sheds are so important. They provide a safe and supportive environment where men can connect with like-minded people, share their worries and find understanding from those going through the same thing. They also give them room to build relationships, rediscover purpose and navigate life’s challenges after loss.  

We understand how painful grief can be. This blog will help guide you through these emotions as well as providing places you can go to seek support.   

The challenges facing grieving fathers

When a father loses a child, men are often expected to remain strong and stoic, so they focus on supporting their families rather than addressing their own emotions. This can leave many fathers feeling isolated and unable to express their grief, heightening their pain and leaving them with no room to heal.  

Acknowledge your grief

If you’ve suffered the loss of a child, it’s important you allow yourself to wholly feel your emotions – good and bad. Give yourself permission to mourn in your own way, whether that’s through quiet reflection, talking to someone or engaging in activities that help you process your feelings. 

Open up to people you trust

It can be tempting or even instinctual to keep your emotions bottled up, but grief isn’t something you can put in a box. Instead, sharing your feelings with someone you trust can help you start to come to terms with your loss. Whether it’s a friend, partner or a support group, talking can help take some of the weight off your shoulders. It can also keep the memory of your loved one alive. You don’t have to speak if you’re not ready; writing a letter or even spending time with your friends and family in silence can bring a sense of comfort. 

Find purpose in activities you enjoy doing

Doing activities, you enjoy can help you find a sense of purpose and normalcy in your grief. Examples could include practical tasks like DIY, hobbies or even volunteering within your local community. Everyday activities provide structure and allow you to channel your energy into something other than your grief – even if it’s only for a few short hours when you feel up to it. 

Consider getting professional help

Sometimes, the weight of grief can feel too heavy to carry alone. Seeking support from a specialist bereavement therapist or counsellor can provide you with the tools you need to navigate your emotions and find a healthy way through your journey with grief.  

Seek support from Men’s Sheds

Building social connections often proves more challenging for men than it does for women. Unlike women, many older men have fewer close friendships and are less likely to open up about personal worries or health concerns. While this isn’t true for everyone, retirement can leave some men feeling adrift, as if they’ve lost their sense of purpose or identity. That’s where Men’s Sheds step in. They offer a way to rediscover connection, community and a renewed sense of belonging. 

Men’s Sheds encourage people to come together to make, repair and repurpose, supporting projects in their local communities. Men’s Sheds are similar to garden sheds, but instead of being solitary, they’re a place where men can build social connections and friendships while sharing skills, knowledge and plenty of laughter.  

While these spaces are known as Sheds, they can be whatever the members (or Shedders as they’re called) want them to be. This can include empty offices, portable cabins, warehouses and garages. The most important thing is that the Sheds offer men the chance to meet like-minded people, share their worries and gain a renewed sense of purpose. That’s why Men’s Sheds are vital. 

There are 900+ Open Sheds across the UK right now. Head over to the website to find a Men’s Shed in your area. You can also learn more about starting your own.

Other supportive bereavement groups

Men’s Sheds aren’t the only support group you can turn to if you need guidance. There are several other resources, charities and networks that offer help and advice, including:  

Find the support you need in a GreenAcres Living Memorial Park

If you’re struggling to come to terms with grief or need someone to talk to, we hold events, remembrance services and bereavement cafés at our Parks throughout the year.  

You may find particular comfort from our bereavement cafés, which are held within the beautiful landscapes of our Parks and provide a kind, supportive space with understanding from others who are also living with life after loss. We also provide grief books, signposting information to other bereavement organisations and other resources to help with your grief journey.  

Head over to our website to find a GreenAcres Bereavement Cafés. 

Christmas is a time for family, togetherness and creating special memories. However, for those coping with bereavement, it can also be a time when the absence of loved ones who are no longer with us becomes overwhelming. The empty chair at the table can shine an even bigger spotlight on sadness, making the loss feel even more profound.  

In this blog, we’ll share thoughtful ways to honour and remember the ones we miss during the Christmas festivities. Whether it’s lighting a candle, sharing your favourite stories or setting aside a special space for the deceased at the dinner table, these small acts of remembrance can bring comfort, keep their memory alive and kick-start new traditions. 

Light a candle

One of the simplest yet most meaningful ways to honour the deceased this Christmas is to light a candle in their memory. Many people believe that memorial candles symbolise the continuation of life in death and the enduring presence of the spirit, offering a moment of stillness and literal warmth as you look back on better times.

Adopt their traditions

If your loved one had a special festive tradition, such as baking a particular dessert or playing their favourite Christmas song on repeat, you could consider incorporating it into your own celebrations. Doing so means your loved one will continue to play a part in your festivities both now and in future Christmases. . 

Make space at the table

Christmas dinner brings loved ones together, so you may want to place a photo, a dinner plate or an empty chair at their place at the table to symbolise your loved one’s presence. These small gestures can help bring comfort during grief, especially during the busy Christmas period, which can often feel intensely overwhelming. They also offer the chance to feel close to the dead while still allowing you to enjoy the festivities.  

Find comfort through acts of remembrance

Adding a personal touch to your Christmas remembrance can make the festivities even more meaningful. Some simple ideas include finding or creating a decoration dedicated to the deceased that you can hang on the Christmas tree. You could write your loved one a heartfelt letter or even dedicate a small corner of your home to display their photo with Christmas decorations. For some, donating to or volunteering with a charity their loved one cared about can be a beautiful way to honour and celebrate their memory.  

By personalising the way you remember the deceased, you can transform grief into a celebration of who they were and what they meant to you – which is exactly what Christmas is all about.  

Hang a Christmas stocking 

If you find the fireplace looks bare this Christmas, hang a stocking in memory of the deceased. You could fill it with a few of their favourite Christmas gifts or invite family and friends to leave letters and photos dedicated to their loved one. This won’t be right for everyone, but some people find comfort in seeing the stocking full of life. 

Toast your loved one 

Before the night is over, gather your friends and family and raise a glass to your loved one’s memory. You may want to say a few words or spend a few minutes in silence thinking about the dead. Either way, proposing a Christmas toast is a lovely way to bring the memory of the deceased into the festivities.  

Share stories and traditions 

Sharing stories and continuing the traditions of the deceased is a great way to keep their memory alive. This could be as simple as taking time as a family to share your favourite memories or anecdotes about them. Memories tend to raise a smile, and what better way to spend Christmas? 

Find the support you need in a GreenAcres Park 

If you’re struggling to come to terms with grief or need someone to talk to, we hold events, remembrance services and bereavement cafés at our Parks throughout the year.  

You may find particular comfort from our bereavement cafés, which are held within the beautiful landscapes of our Parks and provide a kind, supportive space with understanding from others who are also living with life after loss. We also provide grief books, signposting information to other bereavement organisations and other resources to help with your grief journey.  

Head over to our website to find a GreenAcres event and bereavement café near you. 

Christmas is supposed to be a time of joy and togetherness, but for those grieving the death of a loved one, it can be a particularly challenging period. The constant reminders of the people no longer here can amplify feelings of loss and bring an even stronger sense of sadness to the festivities. 

If someone you care about is grieving during the Christmas holidays, knowing what to say – or what not to say – can be daunting. How do you offer comfort without saying the wrong thing? In this blog, we’ll explore compassionate ways to send a message to those grieving at Christmas. Whether through kind words or carefully chosen gifts, there are several thoughtful ways to show you care this festive season.  

What to write in a Christmas card for someone who’s grieving

Sending Christmas cards is a long-standing tradition for many people, with the world’s first recorded use of “Merry Christmas” sent in 1534. Even though writing a Christmas card for someone who is grieving can feel daunting, your words can bring great comfort. The important thing is to acknowledge their loss and show that you care. Avoid clichés like “time heals all wounds” or overly cheerful messages that may feel out of place. Instead, choose messages with sincerity and empathy. 

 Start with a heartfelt acknowledgement of their grief. For example: 

“I know this Christmas will be especially difficult for you without [loved one’s name]. Nothing I say can ease the pain, but I just want you to know I’m thinking of you and sending you love.” 

You may also want to include a brief memory or sentiment about the person who died to add even more meaning to your Christmas message: 

“[Name] brought so much joy to those around them, and their memory lives on in all of us who loved them. I fondly remember when [add a memory here]…” 

Remind the person grieving they’re not alone: “If you need anything or just want to talk, I’m always here for you.” 

End your message with a compassionate wish: “Wishing you peace and comfort this Christmas, and hoping you find moments of warmth and love amidst the grief.” 

Writing a message to someone who’s suffering the loss of a loved one is never easy. But if you find yourself staring at a blank page because you have no idea what to say or where to even start, let your message come from the heart. And remember – even if you don’t receive a reply, your effort to reach out will mean so much to the person who’s grieving.  

How to send a Christmas text or email

If you’re not one for sending Christmas cards, you may want to text or email a Christmas message instead. Sending a Christmas text or email to someone who’s grieving is a quick and kind way to let them know they’re in your thoughts. While an electronic message may feel less personal than a handwritten card, it can still offer comfort, especially during an emotionally charged Christmas period. 

As your texts and emails are likely to be shorter and more frequent, your message might include phrases like:  

 Tell your loved one not to worry about replying so they don’t have the added pressure of sending a message back. 

Christmas gift ideas for someone who’s coping with a bereavement

  1. Personalised keepsakes: A custom photo frame, an ornament or a piece of jewellery engraved with either their loved one’s name or a special date can be a touching way to honour the deceased’s memory. 

  2. Cosy self-care gifts: A soft blanket, a cosy pair of slippers, bubble bath or a scented candle are great self-care gifts that can provide physical comfort when things feel especially tough.

  3. A diary and stationery: A diary and accompanying stationery set can encourage your loved one to express their emotions and write down their feelings. This can be especially cathartic to those who struggle to talk about their feelings out loud. 

  4. Subscription services: There are many subscription services you could choose from, including meal boxes, TV streaming and monthly coffee pod deliveries. These can make life a little easier for the person grieving and give them something to look forward to.  

  5. A donation to charity: Donating to a charity that meant something to the deceased or which offered the person grieving support is a wonderful way to honour their memory. 

Join us for our Christmas Remembrance Service 

We understand that far from being a joyous time, Christmas can be challenging and even upsetting for those dealing with loss. Our Christmas Remembrance Service provides a space for you to reflect on precious memories surrounded by people who can relate to how you feel. Book your place at your nearest GreenAcres Park on 8th December 2024 and please stay for refreshments afterwards if you feel up to it. We hope to see you there.  

 

 

Christmas is a time of joy, celebration and spending time with loved ones. But for those dealing with a loss, it’s a time tinged with sadness. Christmas can bring grief to the forefront, serving as a painful reminder of the people who are no longer with us. Even if the death occurred many years ago, it’s important to understand how to support someone through their grief at Christmas so that they know they have someone to lean on should they need a friendly ear.

This blog will give you advice on what to say and what to do to help those who struggle with their grief at Christmas.

Don’t avoid speaking about Christmas

It’s natural to avoid speaking about Christmas if you don’t know how to approach the subject. But this can make the person who’s grieving feel more alone. Instead, it’s better to acknowledge that it will be a difficult time and that you’re always there for the person if they need support.

If you plan to send a Christmas card, write a message from the heart. Name the person who died and share a memory to help ease the pain. You may even raise a smile.

Reach out

While you’ve undoubtedly got a million things to think about before Christmas day, set aside some time to reach out to your friend or relative. A simple text or phone call can go a long way in making them feel less isolated when everyone around them is busy gearing up for the big day. Ask them how they’re feeling and allow them to speak about their loss if they feel up to it.

Try not to leave it too long in between texts. It’s easy to read a message and forget about it, intending to reply when you’re less busy. But keep the conversation going as long as your friend or family member needs.

Listen without interrupting

Those dealing with grief often find it hard to open up during the Christmas period. When everyone else is having fun going to Christmas parties and listening to festive music, they keep feelings bottled up to avoid bringing the mood down. Unfortunately, this ends up leaving their grief feeling far worse.

It’s important to offer your friend or relative the opportunity to get their emotions out. Allow the person grieving to speak about their feelings by creating a safe space for them to open up as honestly as they want to. Don’t interrupt, make comparisons or offer unwarranted advice. Simply make a cup of tea, provide the mince pies and lend a tentative ear.

Extend an invitation but support their choice

Christmas can be a lonely time for those suffering a loss. While your friend or family member may not be up for the festivities this year, extend an invitation so they know they’re welcome. It may be that they’d rather be on their own, but they’re bound to appreciate the thoughtful gesture, nonetheless. Likewise, if they choose to decline, respect their decision and try again the following year.

Christmas often loses its shine after a loss – at least in the immediate aftermath. Many people prefer to treat the 25th of December like any other day while they try to cope with their grief.

Offer help

If your friend or relative chooses to celebrate Christmas, offer to help them wrap gifts, prepare food or pick up last-minute stocking fillers. When people struggle, they tend to carry on regardless. The offer of help could be the thing they need to get through the festive period intact. Even if they don’t take you up on it, it’s a kind and thoughtful thing to do.

Keep the conversation going after Christmas

Grief is ongoing. Even when Christmas is over and done with, your friend or relative still has to deal with the tidal wave of emotions as time goes on. Remember to keep checking in on them beyond Christmas. It’s true that the festive period can be the most painful time, but grief is far from linear. They will appreciate your love and support, regardless of the season.

If you’re suffering from grief this Christmas or you know someone who is, you’re welcome to join us at your local GreenAcres Living Memorial Park for our Christmas Remembrance Service. Whether this is your first Christmas without this special person or the time of year that makes the memories that little bit harder, our Christmas Remembrance Service can be a lovely way to spend time reflecting.

It may also help to connect with others who have lost someone too. We have a wonderful nurturing community through our GreenAcres Bereavement Cafés, which run once a month in every Park; please see our events page for more information. Find out more by visiting the events page on our website.

Getting through Christmas after a bereavement is difficult enough without having to cope with New Year celebrations, too. While most of us look forward a fresh start with excitement about what’s to come, those suffering from grief are often left reflecting on happier times.

If you’re feeling overwhelmed or daunted about the prospect of a new year without the person you lost, we’ve got advice on how to cope. Read on for more.

Give yourself some time to rest

Whether you celebrated Christmas or decided to give the festivities a miss, the build-up is still a chaotic time. Coupled with the exhaustion of grief, it’s more important than ever that you give yourself enough time to recover – both mentally and physically.

That doesn’t mean you have to slow down or stop what you’re doing altogether – you just need to take some time to rebuild. Eat healthy meals, get plenty of sleep, enjoy some light exercise and, most importantly, try not to pack your social calendar with too many activities. That way, you’re not putting yourself under too much pressure to get back to some kind of normality before you’re ready.

Reach out to friends and family

It’s not always easy to talk to friends and family about grief, but sharing memories about your loved one can help bring a sense of closure. Talking to those that knew the deceased can also make the loss feel slightly less overwhelming. Ignoring your grief will only worsen the pain, causing you to go into the new year with an uphill battle to climb.

This New Year, you might like to swap the celebrations for a night in sharing fond memories with your loved ones. And if you’re feeling up to it, why not raise a toast to the person who passed?

Attend a support group

When you lose someone you love, meeting others who can relate to how you feel can help. Our Bereavement Cafés offer a kind, supportive space with understanding from others who are also living life after loss. We promise you a warm welcome from our experienced and compassionate team, along with tea, coffee and cake! This event is free for anyone bereaved in the local community surrounding the Park – just turn up at an event that suits you.

We’re hosting plenty of other grief events over the next year, too, so feel free to get involved as often as you like.

Be brave and try something new

Bereavement is a difficult process to go through, but dealing with a loss also brings new beginnings. If you’re feeling brave, why not use this opportunity to try something you’ve never done before? You could take up that hobby you’ve always wanted to do, or join a community – like a book club or walking group. Many of our Bereavement Café attendees say that while building new connections is scary, meeting like-minded people can be a positive experience.

Live one day at a time

Instead of looking too far into the new year, take each day as it comes. We’re all guilty of putting too much pressure on ourselves to meet goals, make plans and chase self-improvement on January 1st. But when coping with grief, this only adds to the suffering.

This year, ditch the New Year’s resolutions and switch your focus to self-care. You could pick up a good book, indulge in your favourite hobby or complete a new skincare routine. If you do want to make a couple of resolutions, however, make them achievable and don’t worry if you need to abandon them later on down the line.

Don’t feel guilty about saying no

As you go into a new year, keep reminding yourself it’s okay to say no. If you’re invited out but don’t feel like going, you don’t need to feel guilty for turning the invite down. Instead, it’s important that you take life at a pace you’re comfortable with, which may involve spending some time on your own to grieve.

Try meditation

If you find yourself feeling overwhelmed at any point during the new year, why not try some easy 5-minute meditation techniques? It doesn’t matter if you haven’t meditated before – just use your instincts to guide you. These steps will help get you started:

  1. Place some cushions on the floor and lie on your back. Close your eyes and start breathing in and out slowly, becoming attuned to your body.
  2. As soon as you’re ready, imagine you’re rising above yourself and looking down.
  3. Pay close attention to everything you’re feeling at that moment. Allow the thoughts and feelings to progress, even if they don’t make sense.
  4. Then, centre your thoughts back to your breathing. Feel the rise and fall of your chest. Keep taking deep breaths in and out. Stay like this for a few minutes – or longer, if you need it.
  5. When you’re ready, imagine yourself returning to your body and slowly open your eyes. Give yourself a few seconds to adjust before attempting to get up.

At GreenAcres Living Memorial Parks, you’re never alone. You can find a range of helpful blog posts to guide you through your grief on our website.

You’ll also find a wealth of resources over on The Grief Channel. The Grief Channel is dedicated to normalising conversations around grief, death and dying. Grief can be incredibly tough, but is a natural part of life and can be transformative, instead of being something to be feared and locked away. Their mission is to share knowledge and stories that people can relate to, and to provide solace and support.

Listening to other people’s experiences can be a real comfort, too – particularly if you’re struggling to focus. Cruse Bereavement Group has put together a list of podcasts to help with grief and loss. It covers everything, from insightful interviews to funny discussions with comedians.

Grief is one of the most challenging emotional experiences we can face. Whether it comes from the loss of a loved one, a life change, or a personal setback, grief has a way of isolating us, making it difficult to see a path forward. In these moments, nature can be an unexpected yet powerful ally in our healing journey. The natural world offers a space for reflection, comfort, and renewal – helping us process our grief in gentle and meaningful ways.

1. A Place for Quiet Reflection

In nature, we find a sanctuary from the noise of everyday life. Whether it’s walking through woodland, sitting by the sea, or simply spending time in a garden, nature provides a quiet space for reflection. In moments of grief, this silence can be comforting, allowing us to slow down, sit with our feelings, and gradually begin to understand them.

2. Nature’s Endurance

The changing seasons, the life cycle of plants, and the rhythm of the natural world offer us reminders of the cyclical nature of life and death. Trees shed their leaves in autumn only to bloom again in spring. Flowers wither but leave seeds for new growth. By observing these natural processes, we are reminded that while loss is part of life, renewal is also possible. It doesn’t erase the pain, but it offers hope for the future.

3. Physical Movement to Process Emotions

Engaging with nature often involves movement – whether it’s walking, running, or simply tending to a garden. Physical activity is a powerful tool for processing grief, as it helps release stress and can create a sense of progress when everything else feels stagnant. The act of walking outdoors, surrounded by trees, plants, and wildlife, can provide a sense of grounding and connection that is soothing in times of emotional upheaval.

4. Connection to Something Greater

In moments of deep sorrow, it’s easy to feel small and alone in the vastness of grief. Nature has a way of reminding us that we are part of something larger, something enduring. The sky above, the trees around, and the earth below can help us feel connected to the world, to others, and to the idea that life continues, even in the face of loss. This connection can bring comfort, especially when words or support from others feel insufficient.

5. Creating Living Memorials

One beautiful way to honour a loved one and find solace is through creating a living memorial. Whether it’s planting a tree, creating a garden, or scattering ashes in a special outdoor space, nature can provide a lasting tribute that grows and changes over time. These living memorials offer a place of peace where you can visit, reflect, and feel close to the one you’ve lost, while also contributing to the beauty and life of the natural world.

 

6. The Healing Power of Routine in Nature

Grief can often leave us feeling disoriented, as though life has lost its structure. Returning to nature -whether through daily walks, gardening, or simply spending time outside – can help reestablish a sense of routine. The sun rises and sets, plants grow and bloom, animals follow their instincts – these patterns remind us that life continues, providing a subtle but important form of healing.

7. Mindfulness and Presence in the Outdoors

Mindfulness, or the practice of being present in the moment, can be a useful tool in managing grief. Nature invites mindfulness naturally – whether it’s noticing the way sunlight filters through leaves, the sound of birdsong, or the feeling of grass underfoot. By focusing on these sensory experiences, we can find moments of peace, however brief, that give us a break from the overwhelming weight of our emotions.

Final Thoughts

While grief is deeply personal and everyone processes it differently, nature offers a timeless source of solace and healing. Whether it’s through the quiet reflection it provides, the reminders of life’s cycles, or the comfort of being part of something greater, nature can be a powerful companion in our journey through loss. In these times, spending time outdoors may not erase the pain, but it can help us find moments of peace, healing, and ultimately, renewal.

At GreenAcres, you’re never alone. You can find a range of helpful blog posts to guide you through your grief over on our website.

Our monthly bereavement cafés are held within the beautiful landscapes of our Parks where you can feel the uplifting and healing power of nature around you. You will find a kind, supportive space with understanding from others who are also living life after loss. We provide additional resources including a collection of grief books and signposting information to other bereavement organisations. Find out more here.