Whether it’s expected or not, nothing can truly prepare you for the death of a loved one. Organising a funeral is one of the hardest things you’ll have to face. With so much to do and think about, it can be overwhelming to know where to begin. To help you during this difficult time, we’ve put together a simple step-by-step guide on what to do when a loved one dies and where to go for more help and advice. 

1/ Notify friends and family 

One of the first tasks you’ll need to handle after a death is informing the loved ones of the deceased. It’s important to notify close family and friends as soon as possible. You may choose to inform less immediate contacts once funeral arrangements are in place. Don’t hesitate to ask for help from those closest to you if you need additional support in sharing the news during this difficult time.  

2/ Register the death 

When a loved one dies, their death needs to be registered with the Registrar of Births, Marriages and Deaths in the district where the death occurred. Only certain individuals are legally qualified to register a death, and it must be done within five days in England, Wales, or Northern Ireland, and within eight days in Scotland. 

Who can register the death? 

  • A relative of the deceased
  • The person arranging the funeral
  • A person present at the death 

What the Registrar will ask you about the deceased: 

  • The person’s full name at the time of death
  • Any names previously used (e.g., maiden name)
  • The person’s date and place of birth
  • Their last address
  • Their occupation
  • The full name, date of birth and occupation of a surviving or late spouse or civil partner
  • Whether they were getting a State Pension or any other benefits 

What to take with you: 

  • Medical Cause of Death Certificate
  • Birth, Marriage, or Civil Partnership Certificates 

If you need support with notifying companies of a death or don’t know where to start, you may find the Life Ledger and Tell Us Once services useful. These free services allow you to notify most government organisations and businesses connected to the deceased in one go. Visit Life Ledger or Tell Us Once for more information and assistance.  

3/ Start planning the funeral 

You don’t need the death certificate to begin thinking about and planning the final goodbye. Take your time and don’t feel pressured into making decisions right away. It’s important to remember that the funeral doesn’t have to happen immediately; it can wait several weeks if you’d prefer. While your decision may be influenced by personal beliefs, there’s no legal requirement to rush this process. 

Before planning the funeral, it’s always a good idea to consider what funds are available and how much the funeral will cost. Determine how the funeral will be paid for:

  • The deceased may have a funeral plan in place, which could cover some or all of the costs
  • If no plan exists, funeral expense can typically be deducted from the deceased’s estate 

If you receive certain benefits and need help covering funeral costs, you might be eligible for a Funeral Expenses Payment (also called a Funeral Payment). This payment can cover

  • Burial fees
  • Cremation fees, including the cost of the doctor’s certificate
  • Travel expenses to arrange or attend the funeral
  • The cost of moving the body within the UK (if over 50 miles)
  • Death certificates or other necessary documents 

In addition, you may also receive up to £1,000 for other funeral expenses, such as funeral director’s fees, flowers, or the coffin. For more information and to find out if you qualify, click here.  

4/ Burial or cremation? 

Deciding between a burial or cremation is a deeply personal preference, often guided by the deceased’s wishes if they were expressed before their passing. If your loved one didn’t specify their preference, it’s essential to consider the pros and cons of both options to ensure you honour them in the way they would have wanted. 

Burial

  • Some families prefer a more traditional burial, particularly if they have strong religious or cultural beliefs that support this option
  • Before making a decision, check with the family lawyer to see if there’s a lair certificate or deeds for a pre-paid burial plot, which might influence your choice

Cremation

  • Cremation is often chosen for the flexibility it offers in memorialising a loved one. Ashes can be kept, scattered in a meaningful location, or divided among family members
  • If you decide on cremation, a medical practitioner or GP will need to issue the necessary cremation paperwork. This paperwork will be forwarded to your chosen Funeral Director, and a fee will be charged for this service

The medical practitioner or GP will also provide a Medical Certificate of Cause of Death which is forwarded on to the registrar, allowing the family to officially register the death.

All legally required paperwork must be submitted to the crematorium at least 24 hours before the funeral service can take place.

5/ Choose a Funeral Director 

You have the option to either organise the funeral yourself or use a Funeral Director to assist with the arrangements. At GreenAcres, we can collaborate with any Funeral Director to help plan the service according to your wishes. 

Tips for choosing a Funeral Director: 

  • Take your time, there’s no need to rush this decision. Take the time you need to find the right Funeral Director who meets your needs
  • Ask friends and family for recommendations. You can also look at impartial reviews on Google and Facebook to gauge whether they’re the right Funeral Director for you
  • Check what’s included in the price and compare quotes to find one that suits your budget
  • Ensure you understand what’s included in the price and compare quotes to find a service that suits your budget
  • Choose a Funeral Director that easy to travel to, or consider one that offers home visits to make the process more convenient for you
  • Talk about payment options, such as the possibility of spreading the cost over a longer period, to ensure the service fits within your financial means
  • Ask if the Funeral Director has any formal qualifications or training, such as from the Society of Allied and Independent Funeral Directors (SAIF), to ensure they meet professional standards

Ultimately, the choice of Funeral Director is entirely yours. By following these steps, you can feel confident that your plans and ideas will be respected and implemented. 

6/ Write a eulogy 

Writing a eulogy is a meaningful wat to honour and say goodbye to your loved one. While there are no rules about what you can and cannot say, crafting a funeral speech can feel overwhelming, especially during such an emotional time. To help make the process less daunting, consider incorporating the following ideas into your eulogy: 

  • Decide on the tone
  • Ask family and friends for their memories. These can provide inspiration and add a personal touch to your speech
  • Consider what key points you want to include, such as the person’s character, significant life events, or favourite stories
  • Begin by introducing yourself and explaining your relationship to the deceased
  • Thank people for attending 
  • Share memories of the deceased
  • Close the eulogy with words of comfort and reflection 
  • Keep your speech short and sweet 

For more detailed tips and advice on giving a eulogy, visit our blog. 

7/ Make arrangements for the day 

Whether you’ve decided on a burial or cremation, organising the structure of the day will help you plan the service. It’s a good idea to seek contributions from family, friends and loved ones for memories, highlights, favourite songs, or music to make the service personal and meaningful. Think about the following things:  

  • Pick a venue and date that is convenient for family and friends
  • Typically, a hearse will transport the deceased, with close friends and family following behind in limousines or other vehicles. Ensure that transportation arrangements are made well in advance
  • Put together an order of service, which is often a printed booklet distributed to mourners when they arrive. This document outlines the sequence of events and any special instructions such as details of the wake
  • Choose music and readings that reflect the deceased’s personality and preferences. Consider offering family and friends the opportunity to say a few words if they wish 
  • Make arrangements for the wake. This can be hosted at your home, a local venue, or a place with catering options  

Before the day, specify any special requests, such as

  • Whether mourners should wear brightly coloured clothing instead of traditional black
  • Instructions for making donations to a charity in lieu of sending flowers   

8/ Decide on your memorial options 

There are several options to choose from to create a fitting and personal tribute to the person you love. Here are some options for you to consider:

  • Relive happy times and create a long-lasting tribute with an entry in our Book of Remembrance
  • Chooser a ‘greener’ option like planting a Living Memorial Tree to commemorate your loved one. Alternatively, you can opt for a biodegradable urn, which, along with the surrounding soil, nurtures a tree or wildflowers with the ashes
  • For those who prefer a more traditional approach, consider marking the grave with a simple oak plaque or small granite plaque. You can choose an engraved inscription that reflects your loved one’s legacy
  • In some burial parklands, you can place a memorial bench, rose bush, leaf vault, or other memorial, along with an engraved plaque

All memorial options are priced the same across our GreenAcres Living Memorial Parks. To explore these options and find the right memorial for you, please speak with a member of our friendly team.

We’re here to help 

If you need advice about funeral planning or just want a friendly ear to talk through your options, we’re here for you. Click here for more information and to access the following services: 

  • Download a brochure
  • Book a visit to a Park 
  • Request a telephone call back 
  • Email us for more information 

Bereavement support 

Grief is personal and each person’s journey is unique. We are committed to supporting you during this difficult time and offer various resources to help you navigate your bereavement. When you lose someone you love, meeting others who can relate to how you feel can help.

Our Bereavement Cafés are held within the beautiful landscapes of our Parks where you can feel the uplifting and healing power of nature around you. We promise you a warm welcome from our experienced and compassionate team.

Please feel free to drop-in, all are welcome, or you can register here.

Here are some other resources too: 

The Good Grief Trust – provide practical support and connects you to over 800 bereavement organisations under one umbrella

CRUSE Bereavement Care – offers nationwide bereavement counselling, advice and information  

The Compassionate Friends – supports bereaved parents and their families after the death of a child   

Grief Chat – a free service that allows you to talk instantly with a qualified and professional bereavement counsellor, available Monday to Friday 09:00 – 21:00 (GMT)

The Samaritans – available 24hrs a day, 365 a year. Call 116 123 for confidential support

Child Bereavement UK – for anyone affected by the death of a child

Sands – The stillbirth and neonatal death charity support anyone affected by the death of a baby, before, during or shortly after birth, whenever this happened and for as long as they need support